And the results are in…….

"Lately I been, I been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be counting stars

Yeah, we'll be counting stars" - One Republic

The last few weeks have been crazy busy at work and with life in general. As you know from my previous post, we did the implantation on December 10th and have been waiting and praying for good news. During the wait, I kept my mind busy at work with meetings and piles of paperwork and stayed busy at home cleaning house in preparation for family to arrive for Christmas. Time flew for me during this two-week-wait compared to the other ones. Maybe because I am detached from it all and our Surrogate is in another state, I'm not sure, but even though I found myself still thinking about it every day, I did not want to bother her so I only checked in every three days. Each time, she reported no changes, so that could be good news or not good news, so we continued to pray and wait until the official blood test. This time, since it wasn't me we were waiting to see about being pregnant, I had no control, I could not sneak a home pregnancy test, did not compulsively look up early pregnancy symptoms and on the day of the test, while I was anxious to hear, I did not convince myself if was negative and give myself a pity party before ever hearing the results. Yes, this wait time was much easier for me! 

On the day of the blood test, I was at work and needed to finish up a few last minute files before heading out on winter break but could not bring myself to get any of it done. The night before, I had had a dream that our Surrogate called and I missed the phone call so she left a message that we were pregnant and every time I tried to call her back, we missed the connection. So, on that day, I was a wreck, was the dream going to be a reality? Was it a sign? Was it just a dream and nothing more? Were we really pregnant? 

Not too long before lunch that day, I received a phone call……...

The song above has been playing through my head over and over again and seems to fit my current feelings. Many people have been praying hard with us so that we could get our miracle baby. We have had people praying all over Texas, Arizona, the east coast and even in Europe!

I am happy to tell you all that our prayers have been answered and our wonderful surrogate is pregnant!!! 

(I can tell you all now because we have told the grandparents to be and the immediate family already.) We decided to wait to tell Dan's parents for Christmas and it was fun to try and think of a cute way to tell them. We decided to FaceTime them to open gifts together. We had them open their gifts and we opened ours and we talked about random things for over an hour and then we told them we found a couple of gifts that they sent out and forgot to open them. Mom didn't notice that the paper was the same as what was on the gifts we sent them and said she couldn't think of what could be in them but she wanted us to go ahead and open them anyway so she could see. There was a baby rattle in one and baby lotion in the other. Both of them seemed confused at first but then got really excited as they realized what we were driving at! They are thrilled to think they will be first time grandparents in August. I decided to put an ornament on the tree for my mom with a note saying "Coming soon….August 2014" for her to see when she arrived on Christmas Eve. I had to tell her to go look at my tree but when she did, she noticed it right away and asked if it meant what she thought it meant and then said "cool" or something like that. It wasn't very exciting as I had thought but later I found out that she already knew but was trying to act surprised. 

Anyway, so now you know that the initial prayers have been answered, that "beautiful" embryo stuck and he or she is growing fast! She had a second blood test to confirm that things were progressing as they should and the numbers were "huge",  according to the physician's assistant when she read them to me. When you first get a beta HCG pregnancy test, you get a number that tells you it is positive and that number is supposed to double about every 48 hours her numbers were more than doubled! This is great news and could mean that it is: a) a very viable pregnancy (woo hoo!), b) the embryo split and there are two (only a 5% chance of this happening but if it did, wouldn't that just be God's sense of humor shinning through!) or c) apparently there is a correlation between higher numbers on the second beta HCG test and the baby being a girl…… (awe!). Whatever the outcome is, we will be thrilled!

We are so happy that this has worked, happy with a side of caution. We have had the happiness of knowing we were pregnant and before the second trimester, that happiness was ripped away, leaving holes in our hearts forever. I would like to believe that nothing could go wrong as things have so far being moving so smoothly but we all know they can and we will continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. This is where you all can continue to help, please keep sending up those prayers! 

We are only 5 weeks along right now but I am already planning what I will be doing as soon as I take that last final exam in the first week of August and planning how much time I will take off of work and trying to decide if I am going to try to breast feed or not. I may be getting way ahead of myself but if you know me, you know that I have never been one to slow down or to be unprepared! I can't wait to put little glow in the dark stars on my child's ceiling and lay down on the floor counting the stars with them……or better yet, go on many fun family camping trips and count real stars!

Until next time, much love and appreciation to all of you for your continued prayers and support! Pray for our Surrogate to have an easy, healthy time during this pregnancy, thanks!

"Sticky vibes" and "praying for a BFP"

Well, since my last update, I had that 10th surgery and it went fine. I woke up in pain as usual but only had two incisions which is two less than typical so I am guessing that I didn't have a lot of scar tissue to remove or that it was concentrated only to the one side. Either way, I am almost completely healed and feel fine so that is a plus! I will see the doctor on Thursday for a full report.

A few days after the surgery, we went up to Phoenix to meet our surrogate, friend and family member and her awesome husband at the airport. They had a LONG day of sitting and waiting for their flight to take off at the airport due to several cancellations for bad weather so they were tired to say the least. We travelled to the resort that I had gotten us rather inexpensive rooms in via Hotwire and we were slightly disappointed to find that it was really no better than a Motel 6. The problem with Hotwire is that you do not get to pick the place, just the general area, the price and the star rating of your choice. So, the last time we ended up in a great resort that had a golf course on the premises and a kitchen and laundry facilities in the rooms. These rooms has a mini fridge and beds. At least the beds were comfy. Anyway, the next day we had a few hours to kill before we had the doctor's appointment for the transfer so we explored Butterfly Wonderland as it sounded interesting and was only a few minutes away from the doctor's office. They had advertised thousands of white butterflies for the season but we only saw a few. The place was very large compared to the one we have in Tucson so it was nice to not bump into people every step you took while exploring the various butterflies. My favorite are the blue morpho.

 

One landed on Dan and decided to stay for the duration of our visit, supposedly this is good luck (heres hoping!) Once we exited the exhibit, we were surprised by a stingray pool and we were able to pet them. Each of us had a stingray nibble our fingers……. wonder if that was good luck too? (Fingers crossed!) 

After the stingray play, it was time to head to the doctor to do the transfer and get a look at our embryo. When we arrived the doctor was ready to go so we were asked to come back right away. We were able to see a picture of our embryo when it was taken out of the freezer and another picture about two hours after the thaw process began. The image showed that the embryo was in fact alive and expanding quickly as it should be. Our surrogate was prepared to receive the embryo and just before it was implanted, we got one more image. 

The above image is our "beautiful" (according to the doctor), embryo that was transferred on Tuesday. After the transfer, which went fairly smoothly, our surrogate was instructed to be on bed rest for 24 hours. So, we all headed back to our rooms and laid around and watched movies! After bed rest was up, we had some time to kill before heading back to the airport so the guys went golfing and the ladies headed out shopping! Then we all had dinner and we took them to the airport and said our "goodbyes" and "see you laters" with me trying my best to hold back tears. Tears of happiness, maybe worry and of overwhelming shock that someone is doing this for us out of the kindness of their own heart! What do you even say to that? This whole process is definitely no picnic for her as she has to get injected with needles daily and of course, if it works, she will carry a child for 9 months which, I am told is hard on a woman's body and mind! As I have said before, she is amazing and definitely an angel sent from above to help us out like this and even if it doesn't work out, I have gained a forever friend and that is something special! 

Since then, we have been praying for "sticky vibes" as they say in the infertility forum world so that the embryo latches on and begins to grow into a healthy baby. We should know something in another week so we are also praying and hoping to hear the news of a "BFP" (Big Fat Positive), another infertility world term. Thank you all for your support, thoughts and prayers! Until next time, I hope you all are healthy and happy and enjoy Christmas with your loved ones!

Prayers requested!!

It has been quite a while since my last post this past July! Since then, we finalized all the legal stuff and our surrogate had her first visit to my doctor for his approval. That went smoothly (minus getting pulled over 3 times on the way back from Phoenix for a blown headlight!). She was approved and was given a list of things to do to prepare and she went back home to get started. The whole visit was wonderful and it helped to make me feel a little more at ease but still not completely convinced that something would go wrong, even with all of her positive energy and words.

Nothing has gone wrong since then and we are only a few days away from transfer! She will arrive on Monday afternoon and we will do a final ultrasound to make sure everything is ready and do the transfer Tuesday morning. We will be implanting one of the six embryos and pray it takes. If so, we will have our little miracle in August. I am still so humbled and amazed at the generosity and love she is sharing with us and I can't express enough gratitude towards her……ever. Even if it doesn't work, I will always be grateful and she will always hold a special place in my heart!

Tomorrow I will be having my 10th laproscopic surgery to remove scar tissue from endometriosis. I am really wanting to just have everything ripped out as it has done nothing good for me but as a last stitch effort of hope for the unlikely event that I could carry on my own and there may be embryos left after everything works out with the surrogate, I will keep everything in tact…..just in case.

So, with these two events coming up so quickly, I ask for prayers for an easy surgery, a speedy recovery, an easy transfer and for all the baby vibes you can muster up for this to work! Hugs and love to you all and thanks in advance for the prayers.