Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Round two?

So when you have something so fantastic, you want more of it and this is the same with children. We were offered the opportunity to try for another baby. If you remember we had 5 frozen embryos available. Electra offered to do a second implant and after much discussion and prayer, we decided to go for it.

She started on the meds and everything was a go for late September. She and Mr. Electra flew out and we started the weekend with a football game and golfing for the guys and playing with Nathan for the girls. We also enjoyed watching the Harvest Moon/ Total Lunar Eclipse.



We then drove up to Phoenix for the appointment and learned during lunch that the embryo that was thawed didn't make it and we needed to thaw another one. This was very sad news.

So we gave the go ahead to thaw another one and we waited. We returned to the doctor several hours later to see that the second embryo was doing what it was supposed to be doing and was ready to implant. Electra got to take her headache inducing nitro to prepare for implantation and we got to see the little embryo go in on the monitor. It was really cool to watch!

So we knew it was there and not on the floor or still in the catheter and all we could do was wait. Electra was told to move around as much as possible which was totally different from last time. So, we went out to dinner and the next day the guys played more golf and we found a dairy farm to hang out at before we drove back to Tucson.

Electra and hubby left the next day and we waited for the blood test on the 8th of October.

I had this overwhelming feeling when I saw the second embryo that it wasn't going to take. I don't know why, but it must of been a premonition because on the 8th, the test was negative. The little embryo failed to hang on. We are all very, very sad.

I feel sort of guilty feeling sad since we were already given such a wonderful miracle, why be greedy? At the same time though, we were offered another miracle, how could we not say yes? The disappointment is still there, definitely less than if we didn't already have Nathan. He keeps our spirits up for sure! So, we love him more and hold him a little tighter and move on.

I didn't write about this before as I wanted to keep it a secret and write about it when I had a cute pregnancy announcement picture with Nathan in it saying he was going to be a big brother. Maybe that was a mistake. I believe in the power of prayer and I believe that prayers from all of you were a big part of why Nathan is here today! So, if we decide to try again, I will let you all know from the start, we will need your prayers!

Until then, thank you for following Nathan's growth and liking all of his adorable photos!


Nathan is one already!?!

Wow the year has flown by! Our sweet little man has grown so much and it has been so much fun to watch him do it.
He babbles all the time, he is cruising and crawling all over. He is also trying to climb things!
He signs "more" and is starting to learn "all done". He also shakes his head "no" and pushes things away if he doesn't want them.
He understands certain words or phrases like "five little monkeys..." At that, he will start jumping up and down as the song goes!
He eats everything, well except green beans and bananas!
He is just fantastic! We love him so very very much!

He doesn't sleep through the night but I have gotten him to at least go to sleep in his own bed! Over our Fall break, I got him into a routine, I hope anyway of napping and bedtime. We shall see how that goes once I return to work.

Here are a few photos from our fantastic year!






Monday, March 9, 2015

10 things no one ever tells you about being a mom after infertility

1. Apparently, the baby blues can happen even if you don't actually carry and deliver the baby yourself...
       - After Nathan was born, I cried.... a lot! I cried because I was happy that he was finally here, I cried because he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, I cried because all he did was eat and I was all alone missing out on family events while he ate, I cried because I was tired, I cried because I had to go back to work sooner than I wanted to, basically, I cried for 6 weeks (at least)!
2. You will not sleep for the rest of your life (I am guessing) because if the baby is awake, so are you and if the baby is asleep.... so are you because you are worried that there is something wrong with them and when they get older there will be plenty of things they do that will cause you unrest as well.
3. You will love like you have never loved before.
       - nothing else matters in the whole world but the little person  you were meant to raise and your heart will feel like it is bursting with love (and you will probably cry).
4. Literally, nothing else matters...
     - not work, not the house chores, not even dinner plans, you will just not care about any of it anymore.
5. All the pain you felt when co-workers and friends and family members announced their pregnancies, will go away.
       - any new announcement after you have your bundle of joy, will make you SO happy (especially if you know they sort of struggled too)
6. You will become that seriously annoying person that you used to hate that post hundreds of photos a week on social media of your baby.
7. You will read everything there is to read about baby milestones and check daily to see if your baby is meeting them.
8. You will probably print 100 photos a week and send 100 more than that to anyone that will give you their email address.
9. You will ignore your husband (for a while anyway) but will reconnect once the little miracle sleeps through the night (assuming that actually is a thing...)
10. You will eventually realize that you ARE a mommy, it is actually true and that little thing relies on you 100% so no matter what, you need to be there for him, always. Which of course you will be, anytime, anywhere he needs you, no matter what.