New Journey

What did I do on Mother's Day? Besides throw myself a pity party and cry more than once, I picked myself up and wrote a check for the deposit of donor eggs.

We are about to embark on a new journey people......donor eggs and surrogacy. I have given up on the hope that I will be able to carry a child and I have given up on my own eggs. It has taken a couple of months for me to come to terms with this fact, that our child, if and when he or she gets here, won't actually be my own DNA. I have always said that I could easily adopt and I still believe I could, I mean I fall in love with any child I come in contact with wether they are my nieces or nephews or children I work with. So, why has this decision been so hard? I think maybe because there is not an actual child out there yet. It hasn't even been conceived, there are no embryos yet and no confirmed pregnancy, nothing YET to look forward to. So, it is hard. I keep worrying about the future, when "she" is a teenager and she yells at me that "I can't make her do anything because I am not her real mother". Would I be able to handle that? What if "she" wanted to find her biological mother? Would we even tell the child? Is it even worth worrying over right now? Probably not, but these are the things that go through my head.

The process to get donor eggs is frustrating and expensive but after putting interest into several potential donors, we have one that should work out. She has to go through a series of testing and medical work-ups but after she is approved, we can start the donor cycle, in 1-2 months.

The next process is to find a surrogate. We have actually had a few offers in this area since my last plea on FB. I have talked with the women and we will be talking more with one of them soon. I am so happy that there are angels like these women out there, women who just want to help or who just loved being pregnant so much that they want to be so again, but are done raising their own babies. I am and will be forever grateful to these women.

The third step in the process is to find a lawyer who can represent us and write a "pre-birth order". This has to be done with the laws in this state so that when the baby is born, he or she belongs to us. That is all I can say about that for now.

So, if all goes well with the egg donor and the surrogate is approved, we should have embryos in about 2 months ready for transfer into our surrogate. Then, as with all other attempts, we wait that dreaded two-week-wait to see if it worked.

I will post more as things progress, assuming that they will. As always, thank you all for your support and love.