On March 8th, our little family of three went to the IVF clinic for our appointment. On the way, Nathan fell asleep so we thought, great, we should be able to keep him asleep and quiet for the procedure! However, he awoke as soon as we arrived and he wanted to RUN (as boys usually do). So, when it came to actual procedure time, Dan and Nathan had to step out of the room.
As soon as we arrived, I was instructed to take my Valium and wait to be called back. Once in the room, I was checked to make sure I had a full bladder (I had downed over 48 oz of water so I knew I did!) and then the catheter was placed. At one point, I noticed that the door was wide open to the hallway and that anyone could just be walking by and see everything! But, everyone there had already seen everything anyway and the door needed to be open so they could bring the embryo through safely. As they were bringing the embryo through, I hear the Star Wars theme song playing.... at least I thought I did or maybe the Valium was really working on me?? The doctor began to place the embryo and I was able to watch on the ultrasound monitor. I saw the catheter enter and then a flash of white as the embryo was pushed out and into my uterus. Then the doctor made a comment about the Star Wars music which made me feel better that I wasn't totally hearing things! I was then instructed to lie there for 20 minutes and then I was able to empty my bladder, get dressed and go home and relax (with a toddler, ha ha). :)
The pregnancy test was 9 days later, on Friday March 17th, St. Patricks Day. Nathan and I went in first thing in the morning and then off to work we went. I was told I would get the call within 2 hours and I had hoped that it was between clients so that I could answer. It was and the clinician told me that I was in fact pregnant....... wait what?? This is something that in all of our IVF cycles had never happened before! Every other time, they told me my results were always negative. So, I was very surprised and nervous and excited! I either called or sent a text to every family member and close friend I could that day and celebrated the fact that it worked over the whole weekend. I was told to come back Monday for "baseline blood work" and that my number was a 22 and "anything over 5 was considered a pregnancy so 22 was a good place to start".
On Monday the 20th, Nathan and I went back in for the baseline blood work and then off to his gymnastics class. I was told I would get a phone call within two hours. So just as we were walking out of gymnastics, the call came in. I could tell something was not right by the sound of the clinician's voice. She said that unfortunately my number had dropped down to 14 and that the numbers are supposed to rise or double every 24 hours so that this was possibly a "chemical pregnancy" but that I should continue my medication and come back on Wednesday morning for another blood test. So, I cried much of yesterday between napping and trying to be a "present mom". I also called all of my family and close friends back to tell them the sad news. I received many heartfelt responses that more prayers were being sent up that there was maybe lab error or that the embryo shifted or that maybe my body is just being silly but the baby is fine. We shall see tomorrow I guess. I did some research to learn that a Chemical Pregnancy in IVF means that the embryo does in fact implant but for some genetic reason, it fails to grow. I guess that is encouraging in a way that it means that I can get pregnant...... which I already knew because I have had these same symptoms often very early on and then I miscarry.
We have one more little embryo left so one more shot, one more potentially heart breaking cycle or a successful to term cycle. I was told by a fellow infertile friend that in these moments we should allow ourselves the day or two that we need to grieve and then get back up and move on. Before Nathan, that was much easier said than done. I did give myself yesterday though and got back up and enjoyed my time with him today. We have played in the yard, went on a long walk, watered the plants (and he watered himself) and we ate popsicles because it was a really hot day! He went down for a nap easily and after a couple of hours, he is awake again so I should sign off for now and make dinner!
I will update tomorrow evening with the final (?) blood test results.
Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.