Another attempt.....

About this time last year, I wrote of our attempt at trying for number two with our fantastic surrogate, friend and family member. She was and is so amazing of a person and a believer that she really wanted, believed and hoped that if we tried again it really would happen.


So, we went down that road again. She did all the ridiculous things a woman has to do to go though an IFV transfer such as shots times too many and blood draws galore and after many setbacks, she was finally able according to the Doc, ready to transfer.

We tried on the 13th. Maybe a bad omen, maybe not. Our weekend was not unlike our first attempt that was super successful and that brought us Nathan. We enjoyed a weekend of fun and went to the new OdySea museum with Nathan and that was incredible! We enjoyed time together as a family and prayed and hoped for the best! In so many instances, the whole trip went exactly like it had when we were successful before.

We waited the two weeks all the while feeling very positive yet trying not to get too hopeful. Two days before learning that we were not successful, I dreamt that we were and that we were having a girl. While that would have been something to get used to given that I feel that I am a good boy mom..... it was good feeling!

On the day of the blood test though, I woke up feeling super negative and end the end, the results were actually, negative.

No second baby in our immediate future. We have two embryos left and may or may not try again soon.

I feel that a lot of this is my fault. When Nathan was successful, I shared everything with all of you prior to success and requested prayers throughout everything! While plenty of people family wise were praying this time, maybe that wast enough?

Maybe though, it wasn't meant to be right now either. Nathan is amazing and sweet and the best child ever but he also has some needs that require mommy and daddy's full attention at this time. So, maybe God knows what he is doing and maybe he has a plan all along. We shall see....

Thank you all for your time and love.

Now,

An open letter to our surrogate, birth mother of Nathan..... We love you so much! We wouldn't have ever gotten the chance to be parents had it not been for your love an generosity! Thank you so much for your gift to us and for believing in us! We promise to try to give him the best life possible and to raise him in a happy healthy home. We want him to know and love you too and to know that you are not just a family member but someone special! Please don't ever think that you have failed us or that we deserve more.... you have already given us so much more than we have ever thought possible! Thanks to you, our family is more than it ever was and we are joyful! We pray that you are continually blessed with peace and love from God and those around you. Amen.