A little less than 12 weeks to go!

We are in the third trimester y'all! There is less than 12 weeks to go and our little one is doing well. I was able to hear the heartbeat again this past Thursday and it is such a sweet sound! Apparently Ginger is already a mover and a shaker too! Electra reports almost daily that the little one is kicking her insides and a couple of weeks ago, Dan and I both got to feel some of those kicks! Talk about amazing! At first, I wasn't sure that I was feeling anything and then I definitely did, a big one too and then several more after that. It made my heart happy! 

I have started trying to organize the baby room and have even packed a bag for the hospital. :) Dan is working on last minute house needs and I have a whole 8 weeks of school to attend starting Monday. I have to pack the car, drive to Flagstaff, unpack and start learning! It is the last summer that I will have to do this and will probably be the hardest one ever. My brain will be constantly thinking about all the stuff that I need to do at home before baby's arrival and I will be waiting to hear doctor's reports on how Electra's doing and if baby wants to come early or not. At the last check-up, Ginger measured in at around the 83rd percentile for size!!! So, it's a big one already. :) Whenever, Ginger decides to arrive, I'll be there. I just pray it is closer to the due date than early, we want everything to be developed as it should and for baby and Electra to be safe and healthy. 

I had a surprise baby shower while visiting with the family in Maryland. My lovely mother-in-law and sister-in-law surprised me with a tea party themed shower where 11 ladies brought fabulous baby things and we ate tasty tea room type things such as cucumber sandwiches and cookies. It was very sweet and unexpected and I really enjoyed it! No one knows what we are having so there was a lot more gender neutral clothing items, books, blankets, a mobil, nursing things and Electra's hubby has decided to build our crib! I love my married into family so much! 



Here was today's update from Baby Center:

"When you enter your third trimester, your baby weighs about 2 1/4 pounds. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. Her wrinkled skin is starting to smooth out as she puts on baby fat. She's developing fingernails, toenails, and real hair (or at least some peach fuzz), and adding billions of neurons to her brain. She'll spend her final weeks in utero putting on weight. At full term, the average baby is more than 19 inches long and weighs nearly 7 pounds."

Here is the one from What to Expect: 

"Your baby is settling into the proper position for birth, with his head facing downward (toward your body's nearest exit!). Your little work in progress is now about 2.5 pounds and almost 16 inches long. He's busy adding new skills such as blinking to an already impressive repertoire of tricks like coughing, sucking, hiccuping, and taking practice breaths. Your baby's sleep now includes the REM (rapid eye movement) phase — and that means he could be dreaming already (what do you suppose he's dreaming about?)."

I got to feel some of those hiccups too! So neat! :)

Anyway, as always, continue to pray for baby and Electra's safety and thank you all for your love and support. CAN'T WAIT TO MEET AND SHOW OFF THIS LITTLE MIRACLE!

So many thank you's are in order!

This past Saturday my closest girlfriends threw me a baby shower and nearly 40 women that I know and love from various places came to celebrate with me. It was truly amazing (a bit overwhelming) and humbling to say the least.

Too often, I have gotten sucked into my own depression and thrown myself pity parties where I believe no one cares or knows what I have gone through, that no one could possibly understand my fear, pain, anxieties or situation. So, too often, I have sat at home alone, (when Dan is at work) and felt completely alone.

After this shower, I realize that many, many women love and care for me. They may or may not completely understand what I have been through but they care and that is humbling.

So many women were there that I didn't have time to converse with them all, but everyone did congratulate me and gave me a hug and a gift for baby Leade. I was overwhelmed, excited and near tears all afternoon!

My friends Amy and Jorgia came over early and decorated my house in a beautiful vintage sheik style that was perfectly fitting with lace doilies and burlap banners. Amy made sandwiches that were very tasty. Julie and Pearl brought plenty of wine and sweets. Sari brought veggie and cheese platters and chips and dip. Jen brought her beautiful self (which was a blessing as her health doesn't always allow her to leave her home). All of them gave me a sweet bracelet that says mom and has a few charms from Brighton. I love them all and thank them dearly!

Everyone else showered me with gifts for baby Leade (aka Ginger), that included everything from those much needed onesies to baby grooming products to children's books to diapers, wipes and clothing. I feel so blessed.

A couple of ladies are currently struggling with infertility and they came to my shower, I want to congratulate them on being the bigger person than I was over the last few years. I was not able to attend baby showers as they just made me sad and angry. These ladies did well and I hope that I can help guide them through the emotional roller coaster that they are going through now.

I didn't want to have a shower. I was being pessimistic that if we celebrated and threw a shower, something would go wrong. (Granted, we still have a few months to go), but I am going to be positive and be excited from now on. All of these ladies helped with that and I once again, thank them from the bottom of my heart.

Oh yeah, did I mention that I even received a gift from the little one??? I am already the luckiest mom in the world! Baby Leade  and Electra sent me a lovely fruit arrangement along with a message that brought those tears right out!

I am still getting gifts sent to my home or work from people who couldn't attend the shower! People are amazing and I sort of feel like a jerk for being so reclusive over the last few years. I know that my friends understand though and I appreciate their love and support even if we don't talk for days, months or even years.

To my friends near and far, I love you and thank you from the bottom of my heart! Please continue to pray for baby Leade and Electra's health. After all, it is because of your love and prayers that our lives will soon change for the better in the next few months.

Here are a few pictures of the lovely day:

10 year anniversary and a baby on the way......finally!

This past weekend was a great weekend. On the 17th, we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary flying across country to visit Electra and family. Ginger's grand parents to be "Gigi" and "Papa Tom" picked us up from the airport and we all went to Electra's home for dinner and fun family time. The next morning, 7 of us went to the doctor to see Ginger.

It was our first ultrasound since week 8 and I at least was very nervous. We have had heart beat checks a few times and every one was great but we hadn't actually seen the little one and if you remember the last picture, it didn't look like much! Also, during each check, the heartbeat would seem to come and go and the doctors attributed that to the baby moving around but I was worried that we would be surprised with twins. (This would have been good and or scary surprise depending on who you talk to.)

Anyway, we went through a genetic interview with the doctor and thank goodness Gigi was there because Dan and I didn't know half of the answers to the medical questions that she did. The doctor listened to everything and discussed with us that she didn't see anything to worry about genetically and then we were taken to the ultrasound room.

The first thing that the ultrasound tech did was determine the baby's gender. As you all remember, Dan did not want to find out but I did. So, the technician told us all to look away while she did that part and then she printed out the telling photos and slid them into an envelope and handed it to me. The envelope is still sealed, I don't want to spoil it and I am afraid that I might if I open it.

Then the fun part began. We saw little Ginger, (just one). We counted 10 fingers and 10 toes, we saw the heart chambers, we saw Ginger yawn, swallow, wave and turn. It was amazing! Surprisingly, I didn't cry, I was too fascinated, it was truly wonderful!

The doctor's said everything looked perfect. they didn't see anything to be worried about and they said we were right on par for August 28th.

Seeing this ultrasound made everything so much more real and I am so much more relaxed about it all. There really is a baby coming soon! After 10 years of marriage, 10 years of trying (6 seriously) for this baby, he or she is actually going to join our family in about 4 months!!! Thank the Lord!
(That being said, please continue to pray for the health and safety of both Ginger and Electra.)

After the ultrasound, we spent the next couple of days enjoying family time together playing horseshoes, eating and watching movies. It was really a great time. All of our cousins (Electra's boys) are so fun to watch with the baby bump. They talk to baby and rub the bump as they walk by, so cute!

Speaking of rubbing the bump, I got to feel Ginger move, it was only a little and it felt like nothing more than a fly crawling across my palm, but I did feel it and that was awesome!

I am now starting to worry about getting the house in order and getting everything we need for the little one. Thankfully, I have many girlfriends who are throwing me one heck of a shower next week where 40 or so women will be at my house celebrating. I have avoided baby showers like the plague for the last few years. They were just too depressing. This shower is going to be a party, a celebration, no silly shower games, maybe a few "Oh's and Ah's" over baby items, lots of laughter, maybe a few tears and a whole lot of fun. :) I can't wait!

Here are a couple of pictures for your enjoyment.....

Week 17/ 18 updates and how our visit with the avocado went...

How your baby's growing: - WEEK 17

Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop.

How your baby's growing: Week 18

Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long, and he weighs almost 7 ounces (about the size of a bell pepper). He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

So, last week during the avocado stage, we got to hang with Electra and the avocado. Before we got together though, they went to the Grand Canyon which was pretty great for Electra and her family and pretty funny to think that our baby has been there before we have. We could have gone, but just didn't make it happen.....maybe this summer. Anyway, after their visit, they came to spend a few days with us and we had fun relaxing in the warm weather and enjoying each others company. 

Ms. Electra was showing which was fun to see and I had a hard time not invading her space too much and touching the baby bump! She looked great and healthy and still had no complaints so that was good. She also let us know that she felt the baby moving now and that is just too awesome  Her whole family, our whole family, is so amazingly great about this whole process and everyone is doing their best to take care of her and baby. It melts my heart really. We took a baby bump picture in front of a beautiful flower bush at the zoo which I will add later. 

Now we are in week 17 and yesterday, we heard the heart beat again. As always, I was holding my breath, thinking the worst but of course, it was there, nice and strong! It was beating about 155 beats a minute this time and the measurements were all "looking great". He or she is growing quite nicely! Oh and by the way, I will be finding out, but because Dan wants to be surprised, I can't tell anyone...... so, until the birth, I have come up with the name "Ginger". This is because both the donor and Dan have Irish blood and I am thinking we will have a little red head pop out! ;)

So, now that the ginger is 17 weeks, they are beginning to listen to sounds around them. Remember the website I was telling you about before that Electra set up? Well, it is really great! We can upload anything to the site and she can download it and put the sounds on an MP3 player for baby to hear. How cool is that?!? Anyway, I got really excited about it all and sang a couple songs, read a few books and added music that could be soothing for the baby yesterday. I hope to continue adding stuff each week. I tried just talking to the baby but it made me want to cry so that was hard. 

It is still so odd and while I am starting to get excited, I am not sure I am as excited as I should be. I am still living my normal life NOT pregnant but in reality, a baby is coming. (Since I am doing the breast feeding protocol, I am acting pregnant.) I am not sure how to explain it and I know that in the end, none of my feeling now will matter because I will be so thrilled when that little ginger is finally in my arms!

As someone wise recently said to me, this is God's plan, he is orchestrating this whole thing and it is really out of our hands now. As long as we trust and believe in him, everything will be alright in the end. :)

From an apple to an avocado....

Congratulations, you are 15 weeks, 1 days, pregnant!


This is the message I get from Whattoexpect.com each week. :)

And below is another one from BabyCenter.com. :)

How your baby's growing: Week 15

Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds.

So this week I am dreaming of a little apple baby, and next week, an avocado! How fun! I have started to make sure I have the type of fruit around each week for visualization purposes. 

How your baby's growing: Week 16

Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

It is fun to read each week how our little one is progressing. A couple of weeks ago, we were able to hear the heart beat for the first time and it was amazing! I had instant tears and goose bumps! Dan was able to be there too which was great. Afterward we were both in awe, realizing that this is real..... really real! 

Our surrogate..... who from now on we will call "Electra" is amazing by the way, she is a champion, she hasn't had any sickness (that she has mentioned to us anyway), she has researched things I would never have thought of such as when the baby can hear and taste and has come up with ways for us to talk to baby once it is able to hear us so that he or she will know us when they arrive! She is willing to eat like I eat so that when I am breast feeding (yes I am going to do that and I will talk about that in a bit), the baby already knows the tastes! She is coming for a visit soon and we will visit her shortly there after so we will end up "seeing" our little one three months in a row! Yes, Ms. Electra rocks and we love her. ;)

On the 20th of March, we will hear the heartbeat again. The last one was around 160 beats a minute. Now, after some research, it appears that the heart rate correlates with gender. However, after doing some more research, that doesn't seem to mean anything because everyone I have talked to has had the opposite gender of what the heartbeat seemed to suggest. So, we shall see...maybe.

When we visit in April, we can learn the babies gender if we want to. I want to know but hubby wants it to be a surprise. So, we will see how that goes. We will also get another photo at that time which I am super excited about, the little one will be 21 weeks then! 

Back to the breast feeding. I went in for a consult with our doctor to see what I needed to do to prepare for breast feeding and learned that I will be on birth control pills continuously (sort of funny if you think about it, I mean, it's pretty obvious that I am in no danger of getting pregnant!) and I will also be taking another pill 4 times a day to induce lactation. Then I get to start pumping every three hours beginning 6 weeks before the baby is due (sorry for my roommates at grad school!). Anyway, I figured that I would try it and if it doesn't work out, at least I tried and won't regret not trying it later.

I think that is all the updates for now. Sorry it has taken so long to post an update. Thank you to everyone who has asked about our journey! Keep those prayers coming as they seem to be working so far!

Until next time...... :)

Today was a big day

Last night I had a dream that I was given a baby boy and then I woke up from a nap because the baby was crying and I was so confused as to why I was hearing a baby cry until I remembered that it was mine!

This dream represents my current feelings about everything I guess. It is all surreal and strange. I know I have a baby on the way but it doesn't really feel that way since I am not the one pregnant. I know in the end that it won't matter and that I will love that baby with everything I have. It is just strange.

Anyway, thank goodness for technology! I was able to see the first ultrasound today via Skype. I was introduced to the doctor as the "mom to be" and then the camera was turned towards the ultrasound screen. The first thing I saw was that there was, in fact, a pregnancy. I couldn't really make out a baby but I knew what to look for since I had been here before with my own pregnancy (and I looked up many images of ultrasounds at 8 weeks on Google images). The next thing I was looking for was any indication that there were more than one baby. There was just the one, which is great news for everyone involved! I mean two would be a blessing also, but we don't want to put our surrogate under any more stress than necessary and I am not sure what I would do with two babies at one time!

So, once we could see that there was just one baby (or the likeness of an alien) in there, we looked for the heartbeat and shortly thereafter, there it was! Nice and fast, just like it should be! My instant reaction was to cry at the relief and cry tears of happiness, but I held it together, (because I was on my lunch break at work). The doctor said that everything looked "great" and that the next appointment should be in 4 weeks. The baby measured right at 8 weeks and the due date is August 28th.

Now that I have seen the heartbeat, I am feeling like breathing a little more, I am getting a little more excited, yet still cautiously so. I am thankful for the positivity and love that our surrogate and her family have daily. I am also thankful for my many positive friends! I will get there eventually. I did do a little shopping today for some things that I remembered being nice to have around when I was pregnant for a short time and sent them off to her in the mail with a smile. Yes, today was a big day and here are the pictures. :)

And the results are in…….

"Lately I been, I been losing sleep

Dreaming about the things that we could be

But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard

Said no more counting dollars

We'll be counting stars

Yeah, we'll be counting stars" - One Republic

The last few weeks have been crazy busy at work and with life in general. As you know from my previous post, we did the implantation on December 10th and have been waiting and praying for good news. During the wait, I kept my mind busy at work with meetings and piles of paperwork and stayed busy at home cleaning house in preparation for family to arrive for Christmas. Time flew for me during this two-week-wait compared to the other ones. Maybe because I am detached from it all and our Surrogate is in another state, I'm not sure, but even though I found myself still thinking about it every day, I did not want to bother her so I only checked in every three days. Each time, she reported no changes, so that could be good news or not good news, so we continued to pray and wait until the official blood test. This time, since it wasn't me we were waiting to see about being pregnant, I had no control, I could not sneak a home pregnancy test, did not compulsively look up early pregnancy symptoms and on the day of the test, while I was anxious to hear, I did not convince myself if was negative and give myself a pity party before ever hearing the results. Yes, this wait time was much easier for me! 

On the day of the blood test, I was at work and needed to finish up a few last minute files before heading out on winter break but could not bring myself to get any of it done. The night before, I had had a dream that our Surrogate called and I missed the phone call so she left a message that we were pregnant and every time I tried to call her back, we missed the connection. So, on that day, I was a wreck, was the dream going to be a reality? Was it a sign? Was it just a dream and nothing more? Were we really pregnant? 

Not too long before lunch that day, I received a phone call……...

The song above has been playing through my head over and over again and seems to fit my current feelings. Many people have been praying hard with us so that we could get our miracle baby. We have had people praying all over Texas, Arizona, the east coast and even in Europe!

I am happy to tell you all that our prayers have been answered and our wonderful surrogate is pregnant!!! 

(I can tell you all now because we have told the grandparents to be and the immediate family already.) We decided to wait to tell Dan's parents for Christmas and it was fun to try and think of a cute way to tell them. We decided to FaceTime them to open gifts together. We had them open their gifts and we opened ours and we talked about random things for over an hour and then we told them we found a couple of gifts that they sent out and forgot to open them. Mom didn't notice that the paper was the same as what was on the gifts we sent them and said she couldn't think of what could be in them but she wanted us to go ahead and open them anyway so she could see. There was a baby rattle in one and baby lotion in the other. Both of them seemed confused at first but then got really excited as they realized what we were driving at! They are thrilled to think they will be first time grandparents in August. I decided to put an ornament on the tree for my mom with a note saying "Coming soon….August 2014" for her to see when she arrived on Christmas Eve. I had to tell her to go look at my tree but when she did, she noticed it right away and asked if it meant what she thought it meant and then said "cool" or something like that. It wasn't very exciting as I had thought but later I found out that she already knew but was trying to act surprised. 

Anyway, so now you know that the initial prayers have been answered, that "beautiful" embryo stuck and he or she is growing fast! She had a second blood test to confirm that things were progressing as they should and the numbers were "huge",  according to the physician's assistant when she read them to me. When you first get a beta HCG pregnancy test, you get a number that tells you it is positive and that number is supposed to double about every 48 hours her numbers were more than doubled! This is great news and could mean that it is: a) a very viable pregnancy (woo hoo!), b) the embryo split and there are two (only a 5% chance of this happening but if it did, wouldn't that just be God's sense of humor shinning through!) or c) apparently there is a correlation between higher numbers on the second beta HCG test and the baby being a girl…… (awe!). Whatever the outcome is, we will be thrilled!

We are so happy that this has worked, happy with a side of caution. We have had the happiness of knowing we were pregnant and before the second trimester, that happiness was ripped away, leaving holes in our hearts forever. I would like to believe that nothing could go wrong as things have so far being moving so smoothly but we all know they can and we will continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. This is where you all can continue to help, please keep sending up those prayers! 

We are only 5 weeks along right now but I am already planning what I will be doing as soon as I take that last final exam in the first week of August and planning how much time I will take off of work and trying to decide if I am going to try to breast feed or not. I may be getting way ahead of myself but if you know me, you know that I have never been one to slow down or to be unprepared! I can't wait to put little glow in the dark stars on my child's ceiling and lay down on the floor counting the stars with them……or better yet, go on many fun family camping trips and count real stars!

Until next time, much love and appreciation to all of you for your continued prayers and support! Pray for our Surrogate to have an easy, healthy time during this pregnancy, thanks!